In case I get a bisexual beating by C.J., it'd only be fair if I wrote a list of my turn-ons as I am extremely
'sexual'. So without further ado, Germanotti is at present turned on by...
- London. No, not the Canadian London! I mean the real London, like art English London, duh! Who would be turned on by London, ON? It's like a complete ripoff of real London; it's on the Thames River (N.B. not River Thames), has its own Hyde Park and Covent Garden! No one's turned on by a copycat.
- Dutch-ness. The Netherlands if you want to be so 'ra' about it. I love Dutch-ness. Dutch food (sprinkles on toast anyone?), Dutch design, Dutch psyche, Dutch bicycles (got one of them, it's a beaut)...Dutch anything! Except the weather cos it's pretty much like the UK, so crap.
- Fashion Illustration. Fashion illustrations are the sexiest motherfuckin pieces of art in the whole wide world. I envy Rene Gruau and the many others who illustrate in a similar FASHION (yeah, I went there). Check it out, please, it'll make you wet.
- Lady Gaga. Despite being vegetarian I'd screw her wearing her meat dress. No, in fact if I were to attempt to screw the lady herself, we'd probably have some surreal conceptual sex like be cover entirely in bubble wrap which makes a very intimate moment very not intimate at all due to the fact we wouldn't be physically touching one another, but metaphorically blah blah blah...
- Andy Warhol. OK, I'm not kidding but everytime I pass the Andy Warhol shelf in the college library my heart races with excitement and my palms get all twitchy. Crap then starts spouting out my mouth like 'ohmygodisototallyloveandywarhol'sworkit'samazingit'sjustwow' or something if anyone is in the vicinity of the Andy Warhol shelf. He was a good artist I think.
- Blogger Stats. It's a bit of an unhealthy obsession with my stats. I watch them every day in hope I'll have more visitors! You see, basically bust my load all over my diddy laptop when I get a view of my blog. The orgasm is even more intense if the view is from abroad (i.e. not the UK) because then I know it's definitely not just me constantly checking back for comments. Come on world, make me jizz!
- C.J. Natch which means natuerlich which is German for naturally or obviously.
What I'm not into is/are:
- Boundaries and Restrictions. Read into it as much as you will, but I'm going to keep it vague. I'm not fond of restrictions. Restrictions and boundaries can limit your choices or world or outlook on life and what's the fun in that? You could be missing out on many things!
- Narrow-mindedness. This is the biggest turn off for me ever. If you're narrow-minded and not willing to take a risk or try something new, go abroad or say 'fuck it', go on living your life but in a tunnel. Again, you could be missing out on many things!
- Art Bullshit. Ugh, just ugh. I have no patience for deep arty farty bullshit, although I'm meant to be into it, but it's just a fucking mattress with a stain on it!
- Gerkhins. Why? They don't taste nice at all! Olives don't either!
Happy now?
No comments:
Post a Comment