He bought a falafel sandwich, (basically a toasted wrap with microwaved falafel, onions, tomato, and sauces) which I had the remaining inch of, since he was full and wasn't fond of the falafels as he has "eaten better falafels". Well I have only ever eaten supermarket falafel, meanwhile he lives in Notting Hill, which kinda figures why it was the best falafel I had ever eaten.
Falafel.
So today I decided to buy my own falafel sandwich and eat it in Camberwell Green.
No sooner had I sat down on the backless bench a woman in her 60s sat down next to me.
Here is the conversation we had:
"That's my boyfriend over there," she said, pointing at the bony man only slightly older that her, appearing to be rooting through a bin near the bus stop.
"Oh yeah? Well do you want me to move up so that he can sit down next to you?"
I shift further away from this woman.
"That'd be nice."
There's a pause. I bite into my sandwich.
"Do you have any money for food?"
"No," I replied whilst still eating my sandwich.
"Oh."
Another pause. She sniffs in the direction of my sandwich.
"That smells nice. What is it?"
"Falafel sandwich."
"What's inside it? Prawn?"
"No, falafel."
A pause. Then thinking up a quick (but polite) escape route, I look at my phone.
"Oh shit...I didn't realise the time. I've got to get the bus. Well it was nice meeting you, see ya."
I head towards any bus stop.
The boyfriend never came to sit down.
Out of 10, I'm going to give her a 6 for conversational skills: she was a well-groomed and non-smelly tramp but she just hasn't figured out a way of asking for food from a stranger without sounding impolite and can only follow half of the conversation. There's room for improvement.
I'm giving myself a 6 for complete bluntness in handling the fact she may have actually needed some food and I have the power to give her some (even though she appeared well-fed) and for a poor excuse for leaving the conversation. But I did have some manners by making space for the boyfriend.
Oh, falafel.
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